Who Needs A Lawyer in Court Anyway? Part 7: Not Buying Into Your Story

Final Question:

• If a client wants to do something you know doesn't make sense, legally or otherwise, how do you respond?

Long ago, a very kind, wise person gave me some of the best advice of my career.  He said, "Ms. Bowie, you must learn not to take on the mantra of your clients."  Truthfully, I'm still working on that.  And in family law, it is one of the hardest things to learn.  But my clients need me to do it, so it is a priority goal for me, every day.  

Many lawyers hate divorce and custody law because it is, "so emotional."  And it really is! We lawyers go to law school and we learn to be advocates and our clients need that.  But the most skilled family law attorneys are daily students in setting aside their own feelings about a particular case, and working to learn objectivity.

If we are honest, few of us do this perfectly or well.  What you are looking for is someone who: (1) understands that the concept exists (many lawyers, no matter how skilled and with many years of experience don't); (2) understands the importance of the balancing act between being a strong advocate and calling you on your unreasonable ideas or beliefs; and (3) can explain how he or she has and is learning to be more objective now, as compared to last year, or the year before.

Almost every client or potential client I've talked to in the past nearly twelve years includes some reference to "my rights,"  in his or her initial discussions with me.  In divorce and custody cases, the real winners are the ones who understand that justice is not about rights, it is about a sensible balance of the rights of everyone in the family.