Alimony --- How to Protect Yourself in Divorce

Alimony in Maryland divorce law and litigation is confusing and complicated.  Let's just start with that.

There are two kinds of questions people ask about alimony when they are getting divorced.

First, "How do I get alimony?"

Second, "Do I have to pay alimony?"

People ask these questions because they want to protect themselves.

The answer is different for every divorcing couple, but whether your question is answered because you want it or you don't want to pay it, it is important to get help from an experienced divorce lawyer before you even file your divorce complaint.

There are three different kinds of alimony in Maryland and to get any of them, you have to ask in a specific way, and then prove or disprove,  some or most of a list of factors that are very specific. You need an experienced divorce lawyer to help you do that.

Under Maryland law, it doesn't matter if you are the husband or wife or one of a same-sex couple.  What matters most is your family's economics, as well as many other factors.

If you want to get alimony, I've learned a few lessons in my nearly thirteen years as a divorce lawyer that I want to pass on to you:

• First, if you want it, you have to ask for it. You can, and should in most cases, ask for what you really want, but only if you have a reasonable chance, based in the law, in getting alimony;
• Second, when you ask for it, you need to do it in a way that the court understands.  In Maryland, you have to have the right facts in your Complaint for divorce to get alimony.  If you try to do it yourself by filling in the divorce forms, the chances are you won't do that;
•  Third, remember that just because you ask for it, doesn't mean you will get it.   Be reasonable. The law in Maryland encourages self-sufficiency.  Don't expect the court to give you a "pension for life."  Be willing to be as accountable as you can for yourself.

If you want to avoid paying alimony, there are other things I've learned you need to remember:

• First, be accountable.  If your spouse has been at home for years, like it or not, you usually had some part to play in that situation.  Unless you can prove with documents or corroborating testimony that you and your spouse never agreed to one person not contributing financially to the marriage, it's unlikely the court is going to be sympathetic to a claim that you didn't have any part to play in the decision.  You need an experienced divorce lawyer to help you know when, how much, and under what circumstances, you should contribute to getting your spouse on his or her feet;
• Second, don't pay "guilt" money!  Again, you need the help of an experienced divorce lawyer to guide you.  I have seen many situations where a spouse is responsible for the breakdown of the marriage and feels so badly about it he or she pays far more alimony than the law would demand;
• Third, and most important, be reasonable.  When I have clients who have a risk of being ordered to pay alimony, I work like crazy to get them a negotiated resolution with a written agreement that waives the right of the spouse to ask for any more alimony than is agreed to, and also that keeps the spouse from ever asking the court to give them more for longer than is contained in that agreement.

Maryland law does not have a formula for granting or denying the amount of alimony or the length of time it has to be paid.  Like I said, it's complicated!

Call me today to get the guidance of an experienced divorce lawyer about alimony before you even file that complaint!