Answer:
It depends. Seriously. It does.If this question applies to you, the best thing you can do is call us today or visit our website to find out exactly how you should face this problem. But we can offer some very specific information that should apply to most folks (this is not true if there is violence in your home --- in that case, seek law enforcement assistance immediately, don't sit at the computer reading blogs):
- Do everything possible to reduce conflict for your children, but balance that with good legal advice before you act;
- Try to set up and maintain a separate space in the home that will not induce further conflict, but that is safe for you;
- Most important of all communicate transactionally with your spouse. If possible, ask politely that your communications be reduced to writing so that no one is confused about questions or answers;
- Keep copies of all of these communications. If your spouse refuses to do this, make sure your contact with him or her is professional, on-the-level, and avoids discussion of feelings as much as possible. This isn't to say you shouldn't try to work on communications if your spouse wants to do so, but the place for that, at this stage, is in the marriage counselor's office, not the house;
- Protect yourself from false allegations of domestic violence. ABSOLUTELY do not engage in arguments or fights, verbal or otherwise, with your spouse. This is especially true if you have children in the home. Be the grownup, even if you are the only one in the house doing so. For more information on specific ways to do this, look for the next post.
